le sigh...

that is all.

so what are your plans for the future?

how many times have we been asked that question? or a variation of it?

and i dont mean the daily ones of "when do you plan to eat? what are you going to wear 2mrw? are you doing anything this saturday?"

im talking about the questions that get you thinking about your entire future (assuming you'll live that long)

as a lil kid, you get asked "what do you want to be when you grow up?"

entering high school, you get asked "so what courses will you take? cus y'know.. that'll determine if you've taken the prerequisites to take certain gr11/12 courses, that'll affect which programs you can apply for after high school, basically means you gotta decide what you wanna study/where you wanna go, and it pretty much all starts with the question of what you wanna do with your life!"

thats how ive always viewed it. since jr high, ive looked at it from a big picture perspective.

i actually wanted to go into forensic sciences, cus ive always been a big puzzle nerd, enjoyed mysteries, fascinated by crime scenes, the thrill of solving something! then in jr high, i realized i really sucked at science so there goes that career.

then one day, i discovered the "behind the scenes" specials on a DVD. and i've been hooked on media ever since. there's so much that goes on, but as a movie viewer, you have no idea whatsoever.

ive always enjoyed that. knowing im contributing, doing my part, actually useful, but i dont want the whole world knowing its me. i mean sure, some ppl will know whose behind it all, like the actors themselves and other people working with you behind the scenes. but other than that, no one else knows. and the ppl who DO know, they'll appreciate you that much more. =)

i touched on it in a previous post, its like how God works in our lives. for those of us who know its Him behind it all, we really appreciate it, acknowledge Him for everything, and all glory belongs to Him. it really keeps me grounded, as a reminder of who i should be thanking every day for everything that does or doesnt happen.

but back to the media topic. i was just thinking... of what my "goals" were with my video camera. i've talked to some photog friends, and since there's so many photographers now, asked them... why photography? some have answered "just a hobby. its fun!" "ive done photog before it became so popular! im not a follower!" "if i can capture the right moment, bring out the right emotions, and trigger the right memories, it can change lives"

whoa. some answers were pretty deep. so i asked myself the same question, but with my video cam. i mean... my camera angles and such needs a LOT of work. it doesnt help that ive inherited shaky hands too. and its still a home video cam. everything is still automatic, nothing pro and no focussing or anything like that. and i realized that every time i film something, i usually like to capture it, and relay the "story" to someone who wasnt there. but they would feel like they've been there, right where the camera is. experiencing what it would've been like if they were there. while at the same time, i'd cut out the boring/useless parts. haha... and for those people who were in attendance, if they rewatch it, i wouldnt miss a single detail (well.. the ones worth remembering anyways.) as if they were reliving that moment again.

i really hope i've achieved that with REC2010 and ACF09/10 this year. well, i havent done the ACF stuff yet, and unfortunately, didnt have the time/energy to do the ACF banquet video. but i do have enough ACF footage to compile something this summer. so if any ACF ppl are reading this, there'll be something to look fwd to. =)

its tedious work, and i know i can be annoying sometimes, always having a camera in your face. but thats what i hope to capture. and i admit, i get sick of filming myself sometimes. i would like to enjoy the moment too. tahts when i put down the camera, and save the memories for our minds only.

but when i think about it, someone else reminiscing an amazing time in their lives thru a videos and it brings them so much joy, it makes me happy knowing something i did cheered them up. =)

ive always said. why remember a moment thru a snapshot, when you can just record it all and replay it?

video > photo.... sometimes. =)

PS. well.. i was actually aiming to blog about my future studies decisions and such but look where its veered off to! haha... guess i'll save it for another blogpost. nearly 6am now. sleep time! BYE!

Isaiah 7:9

"if you do not stand firm in your faith,

you will not stand at all."