real friends vs douchebags who claim to be your friend

y'know the episode of himym, where ted 'couldnt get angry' at stella for leaving him at the altar? but in the end, he got really fueled up, had the most pwnage thing to say to her, and was feeling like "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!" but in the very end, didnt say all that, and just let it go?

yeah.. thats how im feeling. haha.. 

it took a real friend to let me know and help me realize that another 'friend' was actually just a big douchebag all along. at first, i was like "meh. im okay. im not mad." and was willing to just let it go, and just move on with life. but after my friend helped me realized just how epicly big of a douchebag that person is, i was pretty pissed. like if i actually saw that person then and there, who knows what would've started coming outta my mouth. haha.. but i didnt. no rash actions were made. no angry phone calls or email.. nothing. 

so what am i gunna do from now on? probably nothing. literally. refuse communication with that db. let that person go on with their life, and i will go on with mine. move on, really.

if anything, appreciate the friends i have now, letting me know and realize just how big of a db the other person was and still is. and how my life is at a much awesome-er place! :D

thats what friends are for.

its always good to talk things out. and they pretty much decided things for me. haha.. actually... they didnt even need to hear what i had to say. they already made the decision, and wouldnt be persuaded otherwise. and its true. thanks to you awesome people for listening, or just not listening and telling me immediately whats the right decision. haha...

softball. 

S.G. UGH. ppl need to start playing this game properly, and reduce the amount of errors. ERRORS. so many! dropping fly balls right at you, lack of backing up, grounders THRU the legs... oh and we're not hitting either. even if our defense is gross, it wouldnt be as bad if we can hit the ball.! but nope.. we're not. im at fault on that part too. but im working on it. 

SG has a looooooong way to go.

oh and this goes for both ccsa (3-1) and sssl (5-4).

thats all it takes.

seriously... that is ALL that it takes. 

the head really is separate from the heart.

wow.

edit/update: He's Just Not That Into You. SO TRUE. just asked a girl for her opinion, and asked a guy. WOW. talk about accurate reactions! HAHAHA.

brain overload.

theres been times when i wish i could just stay in the shower forever. i know this is definitely NOT the first time that ive mentioned on this blog of mine, about how i absolutely love showers. cus it gives me plenty of alone time to think. and alot of the time, they're quite inspirational too. 

altho its summer, i feel like ive got a LOT on my mind. its quite an overload. i mean... theres work, softball, illuminate v3, worship team, colluni stuff, AYers small group, etc.. thats just stuff to fill my everyday schedule. but on top of that, theres been other things on my mind and its bugging me. stuff i need to figure out so i will stop being confused, figure out where i stand in some things (perspective wise), and yeah... i mean, even softball triggers a lot of emotions. winning, losing, mind games whether to hit this pitch or not, how my own performance was, how other ppl on the team are performing... ugh.! im probably just overthinking a lot of things, a lot more than thought put into it than there needs to be. once again, going back to Gigi from He's Just Not That Into You, over thinking and analyzing every little detail, and probs taking things waaaay outta context. so far out that its just stupid nonsense and just pure dumb. 

i dont know... too much on my mind. felt like i needed to blog. but im also lacking sleep.

goodnight.

why i respect MJ

everyone's heard of michael jackson. whether it be from the days when he was in the Jackson 5, or when Bad came out, the the epic music video Thriller was released, or when he started turning white, or when his nose jobs made him look less and less like a human, or when he was with 'little boys'... everyone's heard of him.

ive always heard of his name. but never really bothered looking into his music or anything. most likely heard songs here and there like ABC or Billie Jean but never knew it was by him. the first song i properly knew that it was by MJ was probably She's Out of My Life cus Jon Lee from S Club 7 sang it as a solo in the S Club Party 2001 tour. absolutely loved it. the second song i knew was probably Heal The World cus some kid did it back in jr high for talent show, and he did an AMAZING job.! (side note. that was an awesome talent show! that was when sue was on electric, i was on drums, and amy was singing and we did Now That You're Near =P). 

then Blue also did an MJ medley in their 2003 (?) Guilty Tour. they tried pulling off the Thriller moves. nope... sorry, but no. haha... and as a Busted fan, they also mentioned MJ in their song, Year 3000. and of course, Westlife. haha... they've done quite a few MJ songs in their medleys including Wanna Be Startin' Something, Don't Stop 'Til You Get Enough, Blame It On the Boogie, Billie Jean, I'll Be There, etc. plus they've often had MJ playing in the background during photoshoots and stuff. haha... like the MJ's greatest hits.

then i remember one time, back in like 2004 or so? dont remember.. but when we had satellite tv in the basement, i caught some special MJ anniv concert on TV and wow... that was the first time i saw MJ as a performer. as an entertainer. and i gotta say... never seen anything like it! like, i knew he was the one who made the moonwalk famous, the white gloves, the black pants too short white socks black shoes combo (btw, no one else can pull that off so dont even try). but the way he sings, dances, and moves like that... WOW. thats when i understood why so many artists respect him and look up to him. not only were his songs catchy and such, but he can actually perform them live.! 

in 2nd year, i took an english course where it was studying the english in media. so one lecture, we studied "Thriller". yeah... that was our lecture. learning about an MJ MV! it was awesome. all his MVs are pretty creative i must say. unique in their own way, and never been done before concepts too. 

what a performer... i never saw him live but there have been multiple times when i stood in HMV, debating if i wanted to buy his DVDs. haha... i have yet to buy one. but at this rate, i think he'll be selling loads. so hopefully i can get my hands on something soon. 

of course, thru all that, there was plenty of negative publicity as well, with him dangling the baby over the balcony, 'touching' lil boys, his physical appearance, etc. but just take a look. the moment he's dead, ppl remember his music. how he's influenced pop culture for so many years with his music, his dancing, his own unique style thats captured so many. and he's broken quite a few world records too. so hats off to him. respects. RIP MJ. your music will live on.

oh summer...

so its been an interesting summer so far.
kicking it off with a 3 week trip to hk/beijing/xian with the parentals, then 3 weeks of bumming, and now half way thru week 2 of work.
as usual, plenty of going out, softball, bbt, seeing plenty of toronto ppl, not so much western ppl. its been good playing on the same team(s) as some western ppl and a good chunk of scac ppl go to western too or else i'd probs be completely cut off from western ppl. ive always enjoyed home a lot more. every time i come home during the school year, that weekend is used to relax and go chill or something. even if i brought books, i wouldnt touch it whatsoever.
i still cant believe that 1.5 months of summer is gone. =( too fast. im not ready to start my last year of univ just yet. i still feel so young, inexperienced, not smart enough, so much more to explore and learn! sorta the same feeling when i was finishing up high school and trying to accept the fact that i was going to university! it always seems so far away. cus all you do in gr9-12 is work for marks to get into univ. but it always seemed so far away. you take all of 1st year to adjust and get used to what univ is like, especially since i was outta town. no parents, no curfew, no limitations. its up to you if you wanna study/sleep/eat or not. 2nd year comes along, you're thinking you finally got the hang of this! but nope, moving out of rez, adding on groceries/cooking/chores to the schedule. 3rd year comes along, studies get more in depth and hardcore.
who knows what to expect for 4th year? its all too fast. being a frosh and having the older acf brothers and sisters baby me, then 2nd/3rd year, becomes my turn to look out for froshes. of course i will continue to do so in 4th (already started, finding out the new froshes from scac that are going to western!!!).
its been an interesting journey so far. and once again, its a busy summer for me. well, really bored at work. so im back on blogger, and reading other ppl's blogs. haha... its a good past time.
but anyways. back to work. more posts to come.

he's just not that into you

so it's 5am, and I don't seem to be able to fall asleep. so I've decided to blog instead... from my phone. I don't know why I put myself up to type so much from my phone. but since I can't sleep, and my godbro's kid is now cry-.. no, screaming (he just turned 1 last week. not so adorable right now!!!), I might as well blog.. from my phone!

so around late march, I met a friend who recommended that I watch 'he's just not that into you'. I didn't get a chance to see it til apr24, the night of my last exam (which was from 2-5). so I did see it (with a bunch of single girls might I add =P) and ever since, I've been giving it much thought.

a lot of it seemed to be true things that I've never realized, or always knew but never put it into words, aka never thought it was that big of a deal. after rewatching the movie another two times recently (skimmed thru it the 3rd time), I've realized I have gone or am currently going thru approx 4 of the characters' experience/situation (or at least partial)

1) the girl who over thinks, over analyzes, and thinks waaaaaay ahead.
basically, every guy she meets (and maybe just remotely interested in), she'll wonder if he's THE ONE. she then proceeds to analyzing every single detail and action, wondering what they mean and jumping to conclusions, but they usually end up with the guy not interested at all, and the actions are typical guy actions. which sorta in a way is her own fault, while her friends also come up with excuses as to why he didn't call, or other ridiculous, yet hilarious reason for his (lack of) action(s).

2) the girl who had everything a girl could ask for from a guy, but he wasn't the one.
basically. the 'dream' guy was there, but she had her eyes on someone else, or just knew he wasnt the one.

3) the guy who was ready to give everything for her, but she doesn't return the feelings. and can't figure out why.

4) the girl who does everything virtual.
bssically, she'll meet ppl online, arrange dates, then meet up in person.
its 2009, and with the help of technology, i think a LOT of ppl do this. in terms of they meet someone, whether in person or online, get their basic profile and contact online (thru facebook or something). virtual comunication begins. and whether they meet up in person goes from there. and it's true what they say. remember back in the day, when everyone one only had a home phone? and it's either they called or didn't call. but now, there's so much technology (home/work/cell phones, voicemails, txt, personal/work emails, facebook, twitter, msn, etc), that if you're expecting/anticipating the 'other person' to contact you, you'll probably get rejected by all those mediums except for one. how sad is that? yet true.

interesting how a movie like that can provoke so much thinking from me that it got it's own blog post. lol... and that's saying something considering I haven't blogged in awhile!!

great movie tho. I've talked to a few girls to get their perspective on things. like do girls really act like that? do guys act like that too?
can a guy watch it and give me their their thots about it?

PS. it is now 5:30am and I will attempt sleeping again. holy crap I am gunna die at work on monday!!! ah well... starbucks to the rescue!

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oh twitter...

so twitter's the 'new thing' now i guess... i heard about it back in like sept of 2008 but didnt really look into it. finally caved at the end of 2008. but didnt use it much since like no one else i knew had it. it was sorta a myspace thing, where i got it only to 'follow' 'celebs'. haha... like who? well... like kevjumba. and mcfly. and ajrafael. and davidchoi. but meh.. didnt really use it much.

but then... suddenly.. guess who else got twitter? WongFu.! and then... Quest Crew! yup... a crew account, as well as indiv members. yay! so i began following. then gradually, more friends got it. hah.. so i guess ppl can now see the 'following celebs' side of me. =P since no one else i personally know uses myspace or bebo. but i think twitter is catching on. 

but y'know what i realized? ive always been twittering. maybe not under the 'official name' of twitter. but i have. it goes back to like what.. gr7? when i first got msn. ive always been one of those ppl who changes their msn name a lot. and i mean.. a LOT. haha... like as often as i update twitter now. except msn didnt archive the changes, until saving msn history came along. but it doesnt save the status, just the msn name. and now that im on a mac and using adium, it doesnt save your msn names either. so i guess the archiving of msn names stopped. but yeah.. the msn names were similar in length to what twitter is now (actually, even shorter) and it was brief updates of my life. 

the longer version would be AA or blogspot. i got AA back in gr7 and blogspot back in gr9. and those posts would be elaborating my msn name pretty much. or i would blog just for the sake of blogging something? haha... and these would be longer versions and/or detailed explanations of the msn name. 

then along came facebook, with the status updates. these sorta got archived, but short term. i got facebook back in gr12 summer, when i got my uwo email account. y'know, back when facebook was limited to college/univ students only? yeah. those days. haha... 

and now.. its twitter! im not sure if i like it or not yet. i mean.. its great htat i can 'follow' some celebs, depending on how much they wanna twitter. but at the same time, its really brief and generic. its still not as detailed as a blog post. sure, it can be more often, and it fills in those 'gaps' between blog posts. but at the same time, i feel like this generation is getting too precise and simple. just get down to the point and get out kinda thing. im not sure if thats a good thing. eventually, everything will just be binary then. a yes, or a no. tahts it. even many IT ppl nowadays just reply to emails/txt with a simple yes or no. heck, the GIS programs im using at school are also based on binary coding. it either IS, or ISNT. and tahts all you need. dont need explanations or anything. its either 0 or 1. 

its interesting to see how generations change.

need another example? in toronto, try walking into a restaurant, and if theres kids there, chances are, they're holding a ds. i admit, i have one too. =P but even lil kids at the age of 5 are playing with a ds. 

or how about going back 10 years. how many ppl had a cell phone? or.. what can you do on the cell phone? certainly none of this internet business. and those phones were the size of a brick! you could only call and receive calls. no colour screen, etc. haha.... 

oh technology. waiting for the day i, robot, or wall-e comes true. hah.!

dont get me wrong.. im not hating on technology. and im guilty for relying on it too much. but just wanted to point out how much its influenced our daily activities.

nerves...

things never go the way i planned it to be. and i feel kinda queasy about it.

and im a person who likes knowing whats up ahead in the near future. 

for example:

1) i was planning to call back into my work place. do a bitta chitchat, y'know, stay friendly. and confirm that i can return in the summer.

what happened? i called, went to voicemail, name change. whoa.! diff person. now what? i hung up. and now im gunna go into the office in person 2mrw. sorta not knowing what to say. what if the person who hired me is gone/transferred/retired and i dont get hired? i mean.. i sure i'll see someone i still know there. no way the entire department is gone since the beginning of january. so yeah... and i hope the new person in that position didnt hire someone else yet. =\

2) stats course. i got gg'd on the midterm. i admit that. but i planned it all out. work my butt off. and not only get the mark i need, but get waaay over what i need. the assignments showed my hard work. got my 87, then 98, then 100, then 97, then 98, then 100. sweet. walk into the exam with a 70. walk out with a 57. i need a 60 in the course. what the deuce... 

what happened? well, the entire class bombed the final. i got 50 on the dot. the average of the final was a 53. meaning majority of ppl failed (and they did). and the final course marks average is a 69 which is not too bad so i guess no bell curve. arranged a meeting with prof 2mrw, hoping to explain my situation, ask, then if not, beg for the 60. lets hope my prof has the understand of at least the average human.

bahhh.... found out both those things this past thurs. and hopefully both will be 'resolved' 2mrw (mon). lets pray and hope and have faith that things will go according to plan this time. lol.. 

as cliche and overused this verse is, here it is again. =P 

"now faith is being sure of what we hope for and certain of what we do not see" Hebrews 11:1

if i fail at either or both, i have a feeling that the hk/beijing trip will be not so epic. bahhh...

its a beautiful day!

a few nights ago, friday night i believe, it was one of those really beautiful weather days. 

not too hot. not too good. sorta warm with a really really light breeze. it was perfect. 

i was walking home from the bus stop after my 2pm exam and fail'd attempt at studying, so this was at around sunset time, and i couldnt help but think about how awesome the weather was, and my past. y'see, back in gr5-9 (elementary and jr high), i would have to walk like 15-20min to school (one way) every day. and remember? it was a consistent 8:45am-3:10pm kinda sched, mon-fri. every morning, i would be those kids who'd sleep in as much as they could, scramble out the door, and speed walk to school in the span of 10-15mins. but afterschool was a different story. no matter how hot or cold (i dressed according to weather. yay!), i would always take my time  afterschool. on average, the average walker would take 15min. but i took from 30-45min no problem. i mean... this was no short walk. down an entire street, thru a ravine, then down another entire street. and these were some of my favourite times spent with God. a consistent 30-45min everyday, no one else lived my way so i had time to myself to think. to meditate. to observe the neighbourhood, and boy do i live in a beautiful neighbourhood. =) both streets that i walk down, the ppl keep their lawns quite nicely. i also pass by my elementary school. then thru that ravine. wow... the bridge and the river. it was clean water. you could see the rocks at the bottom. super clean! unless it just rained. it would look like white water canyon at wonderland. haha... then the trees on either side of the walkway. as 'nature' as you can get in the city. then i would also pass by my 'then future' high school. all those walks, i used it as time to talk to God. reflecting on my day. what was to come. definitely some of my favourite moments in my walk with God. and this past friday's walk home from the bus stop was as close as it got to what it was before. y'see, when high school came along (gr10-12), i lived 8.5 houses away. (8 houses, then cross the street. hence 0.5 haha). like, i was soooo close to school that i used to go home to go to the washroom =P or when i said i was going to my locker to get a book, i would go home and get it. heck.. i think i forgot my locker combo cus i never used it. so the walks home were just like... going next door. haha... 

i really enjoy walks. its something i should do more. but this london area doesnt seem that nice. campus is really nice. i remember always going for night walks in 1st year after my night class. maybe i can do that again next year when im living at beaver =) 

but yeah... thinking about the past, i went thru my blog just now, after my exam today. not just this blog, but i have another blog too... that one was since 2004. and its true... ive seen how much ive grown/change. remembered some memories, some tough times. now i cant wait to get back to toronto and read thru journals! (dont ask... yeah.. i keep handwritten journals as well as typed blogs...)

after 20.5 years of life, or just a bit more than 7 years of baptized life (haha), ive realized that in a lot of my prayers, my 'go-to' default word when i dont know what say is "thanks". y'know when ppl say "umm.." or "like..." when they cant find the words or have nothing to say? yeah... if i really dont know what to pray about, i just go to something that i can thank Him for. and i guess that reflects what i think about most of the time. what am i thankful for? and i never have nothing to say. never. amazing huh? always constantly reminded by speakers, sunday school teachers, ppl sharing, and many others to think about 1 thing that you would like to change in your life right now cus it sucks. and 2 things in your life right now that make you feel blessed. and y'know.. the blessed always outweighs the crap. psychologically, ppl would just "thats just called thinking positive!" but how i see it, there truely is more goodness than bad in my life. 

anyways, all this 'alone time', aka, studying, is actually putting more than just academics thru my brain. =P

i never know how to conclude blog posts. haha... man i suck at writing.

but whatevs...!