career

question: where does my passion truely lie?
answer: its definitely not what im studying in MIT at UWO.

nor am i getting the marks to "reach for the top", so that gets me no where in that field. seriously reconsidering my studies. but i just cant let go of Western ACF. lol.. where else would i go? Ryerson. as much as i hated that building, at least its hands on stuff i would enjoy doing. i mean.. didnt i spend a good portion of my gr.11 and gr.12 extra curricular time doing theatre production stuff? and i get slightly excited when i see a sound/light board! i still find myself staring and naming all the lights at concerts and stuff. just studying how its set up, angled, etc. you name it. but not only the audio and lighting, i also watch for the special effects. even simple things like fog. you may think its simple.. but try adding in how much fog, timing, fan speed, when to turn on the fan, maybe more than 1 fan is needed, just to get the perfect thickness of fog at the right area, at the right time. FUN.
but then again, there's the digital production side that also excites me. making a video, mixing audio... but i dont have that sense of design. hence all the posters i make are crap. i just cant do pictures. suck at photography. dont do visual arts. and i cant do digital graphics either. hence animation isnt a choice for me. it doesnt even matter that i know html/xml and javascript. i suck at design so designing websites isnt an option. but i would love to do video editing. like.. real ppl videos. ive got a sense of music. so audio is another route for me. adding music to a video? i can do that. know whats another dream of mine? producing the soundtrack for a movie. DANGGG. that would be just lovely.
see... its not about what i want to do. but its also about what i CAN do. i suck at math. i suck at science. i just dont get business. and i just dont really give a crap about psychology and social science theories. what major industry in todays world is left? media. its just lucky that i also am fascinated by certain areas of it. just shame i suck at the visual arts part.
we'll see what 2nd year at western has in store for me. and if im able to leave ACF behind for Ryerson's Theatre Production program while taking some RTA courses as well. but guess it'll be ok. God's provided. ive gotten to know a fair bunch of RCCF ppl before and during 1st year =)
but yeah. its nearly 4am. career/academics break down. FRIG.
doesnt help that im also jobless, and my mother was yelling at me at 3am for showering at 3am. why was i still up? job hunting. fired off another 20 or so cover letter/resume emails tonight. and i get yelled at at 3am for doing so. *sigh*
WHYYYYYY....!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!
job hunting since feburary. WHERE ARE ALL THOSE STUPID MANAGERS?!?!

"Dreams are meant for sleeping..."
that line's been stuck in my head for some time now. can be applied to 2 diff situations currently filling up my mind. but since we're on the career/academics topic, i shall elaborate on that.
what do you think about when you hear the word "dreams"? fairytales? DISNEY!?!?!?
check this link out. right click and download this here or this here. (2 diff files)
would love to go there for a semester. danggg...
ok. its 4am. i have nothing else to say. maybe i should sleep... i think i will.