priorities

when things conflict, i hate having to pick one.

even when im not super fond of one of them (but in this case, i enjoy both. quite equally), telling the other party that you can't do something cus you chose another (aka rejecting one of them) is just... a really bad moment. and i really hate it.

in this case, if you havent guessed yet, its between the Western Mustang Band and Asian Christian Fellowship. i handed in my availability sheet (supposed to pick at least 4/5 parades and 12/17 athletic events). i could do 5/5 parades (was debating if i should do London. it'll kill me to do all 5. especially London on the saturday and Toronto on the sunday. yes... SAME WEEKEND. the 2 longest parades. deadly.. but as a band, we cant turn down either. hometown and international exposure!) so parades was alright. was gtg with that. no problems there. now the athletic events... im already missing homecoming cus i'll be at ACF Fall Retreat. so thats 3 events im missing (parade, football game, hockey game). so i can miss 2 more. except... majority of games were on friday nights! meaning ACF. matching up the ACF sched, there are some ACF events i cant miss. long story short, i could only sign up for 4/17 athletic events. =( i felt so bad handing in my availability sheet, and staying behind to talk to section leader, who brought it up with prez, and it just so happens the ENTIRE exec was standing there to listen to the whole thing.

ACF. its ACF. its where the 'good times' and f'real bonding happens. these are my brothers and sisters in Christ during the univ days. and im heading up the CRC. i can't just not be there for like most of oct/nov on friday nights. i mean, i tried to balance it out. every other week i'll be at band, then ACF on the other friday nights. i want to be there... to fellowship. to grow/bond with others and grow in Christ. its something i dont really have at SCAC.

i can say the same for both WMB and ACF. this is my final year. i still and have enjoyed both 'clubs' since 1st year. but here's the thing. i guess you could say that ACF is my 'comfort zone'. and ever since 1st year, ive always viewed WMB as my mission field. to be that example, to shine for Him. the different one. the fruitcake. but in a good way. yet i need that something to go back to. ACF. ive grown so much. learnt and seen so much since high school. i know Christ is the ultimate foundation yet at the same time, i need other brothers and sisters to keep me accountable. and im glad to have other brothers with me in band who're also committed to ACF or C4C. it helps when WMB ppl go too far in their jokes and we know we need to stay grounded.

its just tough when i guess you can say im 'needed' in both WMB and ACF. limited number of bass drums in WMB. and heading up the CRC in ACF.

i guess i can always plan CRC and just delegate. then go to band. but a part of me still wants to be at ACF. y'know.. like new stuff such as Battle of the Years, and other big stuff like Coffee House and Retreat.

y'know, after typing all that out, i think i might decrease the amount of ACF stuff. lets see if i can bump up that athletic events attendance number.

on a completely random note.

y'know how guys usually open door for girls? whether you're dating, friends, or complete strangers. its just a 'gentleman gesture' to do so. so today, i was about to walk out of the UCC, and there was a guy walking in to the UCC. so he pushes open the door with his hands and walks thru. instead of holding the door open for me, he pressed the handicap button, waits until i walk thru, then he keeps walking. LOL. GG laziness. not bothering to use his 'strength' yet its a twist to it. hm...!

just a random tidbit i thought worth mentioning (and it was too many characters for twitter =P)

so what bugs me more?

tone deaf vocalists? (plus the attempt of harmonizing)
outta tune guitar?
blurred/fuzzy electric?
imbalance volume levels of all? (can't hear bass and drums, one vocalist is too loud)
wrong chords?
song choices? (full hillsong set that couldn't be pulled of, all slow)
lack of transitions? (awkward silence between songs)

shall I bother continuing on with this list even? and this is just the singspiration part.

what bugs me isn't the fact that it's not good enough in 'human terms'. cus whatever we do as our human best still won't match up to what God deserves. but what really 'grinds my gears' (hah..) is the fact that it CAN be so much better but no ones doing anything about it. and knowing what is out there in other churches...

I used to think I was such an 'all-star' drummer. cus I AM at SCAC (no. not bragging. its true..). but after getting to know other beginner drummers at other churches, I realized I'm pretty garbage. how crummy I was and how much more there was for me to learn.

I don't know where this post is going. sorta a rant. sorta just putting down my thoughts. partially also cus I've been MIA from SCAC for a month so the sense of 'not belonging' is back.

still wondering if going to colluni on friday was the right decision. iunno...

Posted with LifeCast

trust

gotta trust in Him.

just listened to a talk by Louie Giglio. well.. part 1 and 2 outta 6 so far. haha... but it was def a good reminder, plus realization and learning from a familiar passage or two.
that I can't put His plans into my own hands. that He, as the creator of the universe, will most def ensure things will work out in the end. and I gotta trust in Him to do just that.

I'm a person who has their moments of wanting to plan out everything, down to the very last detail, and will over think it all. but this will only happen if I really want something or am really driven to make something happen. if I don't like it, or just don't care at all, even if its important, I will not only procrastinate taking actions, but i will procrastinate the planning so much that I would just let things happen as they come. 2 opposite extremes basically.

but back to the 'detailed planning' part, I would also rush things, just so it could happen sooner. rash actions without much thought. just the spur of the moment. but what I need to learn is that His timing will always be better than mine. i mean, whenever anyone wants anything, chances are, they would prefer to have it immediately. but this is where patience comes in. my friend's msn name once said (or something along the lines of):
Patience: the last guy who ate when Jesus fed the 5000.
hahaha.. so true. never thought of it that way. that He will provide more than enough for us. we may not see how it's possible that a loaf of bread and 2 fishes can feed 5000, basically we wont know when or how we'll physically recieve His blessings. we may not understand how God works. but in the end, He provides for all of us, and there were 12 baskets leftover! an abundance in goodness. =)

in the end, all i CAN do is ensure that my relationship with Christ is continously growing, and He will provide me with the rest. gotta trust in Him! :) it'd be dumb to not. really. think about it.

Posted with LifeCast