"so don't let your past destroy what comes tomorrow" - FH

i can quote westlife lyrics all day long.

that one's from Fragile Heart off the Coast to Coast album. one of their best albums imo.

but yeah. every time that line comes up, i keep thinking about my school habits. every time.. i never learn. i procrastinate, and leave things til the last minute. then end up doing a rushed crappy job. im pretty sure my papers can be better if i finished it like a week in advance, left it alone for like a few days, then went back to edit it. but nope. more like i 'start' it the day before its due, then end up finishing sometime in the early hours of the morning its due, leaving no time and no incentive to proof read it. and i know i did sucha garbage job i dont want anyone else reading it either! lol.. thats the pride right there. *sigh*

i just end up in a lose-lose situation and end up with a mehh mark.

yet every time, every paper, i say it'll be different this time. i'll actually finish it in advance! papers? nope. but it's been improving with assignments and readings. im getting those done. its a step. a bitta progress. its just how much i hate papers. yet its ironic how i can just open up a new blog post, then manage to type so much. bahhh...

anyways. im slowly getting somewhere. ive always managed in the past. and it can only get better right? dont let your past destroy you. learn from it and let it help you. cus im pretty sure we've all witnessed someone or something never learning from their mistakes, and watch them continue to repeat the same actions, and obviously getting hte same results. aka a fail.

gotta throw in a WIN somewhere =)

chin up! time to focus and get thru this midterm and paper! RAWR!

how to break a heart

if only this came out like a bit more than a year ago.

wow.. what a find! (uhh... what the song is trying to get across. not so much the vid. kinda super emo. but im sure i was feeling something similar then =P)

Nikki - How To Break A Heart

(bahh.. embedding was disabled. so you gotta click on it instead.)

"a simple line can make you laugh or cry" - FWW

ah. Flying Without Wings. oh westlife.. gotta love the music from back in the late 90s. solid stuff!

anyways, the point of quoting that…

when someone says a simple line. just 1 line. and it triggers so many thoughts, in your head, plus the emotions come with it.

it can be good, like super happy (all the engagements lately? im sure that what those ppl have been feeling)

it can be bad (some devastating news. a relative passed away recently. hmm...)

it can stir up some realization (stuff that triggers thoughts. just one line. then another person comes along and just says one line, and it contributes to the other 'topic'. and now im just.. ehhhh…)

yeah. i was leaning more towards that last one. thats how im feeling right now. well, all 3 but mainly that last one.

feel like a high schooler again. thoughts/emotions are all over the place. there are things that someone can say and it immediately puts a smile on my face. and i'll be smiling like an idiot.

and there are things ppl can say and that one line will just repeat itself over and over again in my head. almost as if it were something i knew, but couldn't put it into words, or didn't want to admit to. but when someone says it to you, it seems to stand out more and plays like a broken record.

its funny how something as little as one line can trigger so much thought and/or emotion. i guess it can depend on who says it, in what context, and what has happened in the past.

think im just starting to overthink things. hm… i gotta stop doing that.

okay that made my day (or night rather)

was just looking up some drummers (cus i was watching drum covers on YT) and decided to look up Velroy Bailey. who? only one of my all time fave live drummers. and yes.. he's been the main drummer touring with Westlife for the past who knows how many tours now. since 2003 i believe. he's so ridiculously good! so i decided to YT his name (dunno why i haven't done that till now) and guess what i find? Velroy Bailey, Andrew Smith, and Mark Walker are the musicians for a gospel singer in Leeds! and here they're playing "I Give You My Heart". have a watch/listen. i totally recognize some of the style as stuff in the Westlife live tours. haha.. the 'transition' music on tours. similar chords, style, etc. =P

what are the chances that THEY'RE CHRISTIANS. wow.. like WOW. =) pure God given talent right there. f'reals.

further google searches doesnt really say much. hmm.. google actually failing me on digging up info on ppl? thats a first...

initiate hermit mode!

not cus of academics.

but the introvert side of me seems to be taking over... kinda.

im a natural at being an introvert. just really good at faking being an extrovert.

focus. FOCUS. ooooh. a gift?

"never give in to the lie that anything is better than Jesus."

-Louie Giglio

aka He's my #1. =)

Louie said that quote at Passion05. but its been popping into my head a lot since fall retreat. so i decided to finally look it up and repost it i guess. maybe i'll even tweet it. okay i will... later! haha...

anyways. its 3am. and i decide to start up a blog post. [cough typicalunivstudentsleepschedule cough] *ahem*

leaving london and going home 2mrw for the thxgiving long weekend! yay! yet its 3am and i havent packed yet. haha.. hope i dont forget anything. its okay. im trying to travel light. actually.. ive been saying that since 1st year. i've always pictured it as just me, backpack, with laptop in it, at max 1 textbook, then thats it. but nope. always at least another piece of luggage with me like a duffle bag that gets pretty filled. haha... okay i'll pack after i post this.

what was i gunna say... oh yeah! so i was on the phone with my mom earlier tonight, just finalizing travel plans/times for 2mrw. and she tells me ive received a birthday box/package at home. and im thinking "uh.. you mean one of the many things i order from the internet?" (its true... i think im waiting for like 3 things to arrive. haha.. uh oh!) but my mom goes "no.. it says its a birthday gift".

hm... interesting. first of all. its 2009, and i still get gifts (or anything really) via snail mail? second, im turning ten ten one. i still get gifts? and 3rd, its 2009. whoever sent it, get the date right! dont send it 2 days early. actually, now that i think back, im not sure if i got it via snail mail or if someone dropped it off. =P yeah.. overthinking this. hahaha.. no worries if the sender is reading this. im grateful and appreciate it all the same, even tho i dont know what it is nor who its from. its a change from the 'norm' or from the typical and that usually grabs my attention. so now im looking fwd to going home even more =) hoping im not hyping this up like crazy for myself. i tend to do that.

21 in like 2 days. (technically 2mrw since its already 3:15am meaning its already the 9th today). i dont know what to say anymore. when you're younger, you look fwd to getting older. y'know, more responsibilities, less parental control, more freedom. when you're older, you attempt to deny your age, cus you dont want to get old. you miss your youth. im just not feeling either responses. content with where i am right now or what i will be in two days (not that it really matters. seirously.. 2 days difference?) but yeah. its a good balance atm. old/mature enough to have your parents' trust, can baby the froshes, guiding other non 4th years, been of age for a while now (yay canada!). and at the same time, i sitll feel the youth in me. ever since i start office jobs (2007 summer), my gchat list has been growing, and being filled by ppl who are already working. hence older friends who are already in the working world, at the same time, they're also older bros/sis' yet also friends of mine. but we're not at our parents' generation/age. haha...

s'all good. s'gunna be a good few years to come for sures. maybe when i have to admit im stuck working every week with no summer holidays.. it'll hit me then. haha... for now, its a good balance. not too young, not that old either. =)

since i started it, i might as well continue the typical 'another year' posts. so what happened when i was 20? gosh this feels like another "and now to wrap up 2008 and welcome 2009, this year, i did this! and this! etc" haha... nothing stands out too much. guess i gotta mention that i finally went back to hk, and went to other places in china for the first time. my first time in hk was when i was 7. so dont remember too much (seriously.. how much of your 2nd grade do you remember?). went back this time, wow. talk about culture shock! going to beijing and xian really opened my eyes to just how brilliant the ancient chinese were. the things built, the art, the 'weird' things worshipped, finally seeing the Great Wall, etc.

okay i give up. its 3:30am and im writing stuff for the sake of blogging, procrastinating from packing... haha... most of this post doesnt even relate to the blog title. whoops!

ACF Fall Retreat 09

let's start with the good
- girls' group sharing (going beyond that surface, being transparent, there to support each other, rebuke each other, and keep each other accountable)
- when we sang as one voice and knew that Jesus was present in our midst
- bedside talks
- encouragement notes recieved (failed to write any. promise I will for winter retreat)
- saw a FULL rainbow
- saw a double rainbow!!
- sat night random jamming
- broken pictionary AHAHAHA!!!!!!!
- bang-ing (and all the jokes that came with it :P)
- 'i like to move it move it'... 'nough said!
- MCY punching the watermelon instead of cutting it
- 'cha siu fan' for dinner!!! (all girls table win!)
- watching ppl play touch football instead of homecoming football (stangs lost to mac btw. fail)
- much much more!

and the not so good
- busy
- tired
- lonely at times
- i have no heart
- constant runny nose
- bugs everywhere
- totally shafted
- didn't spend as much time in personal reflection as I'd hope
- feeling super old
- mind wasn't really focused at retreat
- getting slightly confused (definitely overthinking or wishful thinking)

just a super brief summary, and I wanted to jot down my notes. just a tiny lil reminder.
all in all, the good always outweighs the bad. always more. blessings in life than trials.

if anything, this retreat totally topped last year's fall retreat. altho, it's not tough to top last year's :P that was just THE worst. and I would like to think quite the opposite happened this year.
we'll see... we'll see how things goes.


random:
I read thru some old blog entries, and there were times when I was being really vague, not really mentioning what was on my mind, but only posting a line or two, and if anyone read it, they would definitely need to ask me directly if they wanted to know what I was talking about. except now, I don't remember what I was being vague about! lol! fail. yet I don't really learn from it and I still do it. haha... even bigger fail.

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