take2, 1month 14 days left: i'm a perfectionist, but i make mistakes

every time i get rostered on a TV (related) position, and i make a mistake, i always remember it and feel really bad. gahhhhh
like recently, on graphics. sometimes its dumb little mistakes that can be avoided. and i really kick myself for those. other times was just unsure and don't know the song. (the MD and worship leader didnt know it either hence no direction from them LOL).
or when im on camera. and make a mistake (i.e. sudden movement when on screen). sometimes it is my fault and the move didnt turn out as i hoped it would. other times its not my fault (director: stand by camera 2, and 3 is on! me on 3: WTH!!!! -_-)
i think its also because Hillsong believes in excellence. we are to do everything to the best our or human capability. going above and beyond, to do all that we can.
guess what im trying to say from typing all this, is that i am human. but i don't let it go easily when i mess up, regardless if it is my fault or its outta my control. i am hard on myself, but at the same time i dont wanna lower my standards either. excellence pushes me to strive to do better the next time. learn from it and dont make stupid mistakes again. maybe its okay to make different stupid mistakes, just don't repeat them?
i guess what also made me post this is im making more mistakes than normal. ive always usually been pretty confident on graphics. but lately, all these little mistakes have shaken me up a lil. especially on the big nights (album recording, BCH preaching, etc.) (yes, #humblebrag :)), but yeah. it does make me wonder whether im qualified to do this. lol...
i still cant believe the responsibility im entrusted with. such an honour. never would i have ever pictured this a year or two ago.
maybe a part of it is also bittersweet this'll be over soon. not really sure what to expect when i get back to TO. i have realized i thrive off of large events (i.e. conferences, album recording, BCH records, etc). so dunno whats gunna happen when i get back to TO. lol.. i admit. i enjoy feeling important. ;) who doesnt?

PS. these Houstons are killing me! Joel with his brand new lyrics 30min before, never rehearsed, can't double check lyrics, only JUST managed to enter them into the computer. and today, BCH decided to preach 5min beforehand, during the MC spot. only barely managed to pull up the scriptures and picture for him. no notes, no nothing to follow. #humblebrag
PPS. yeah... thats the thrill i get. lol.. the key is to stay calm, do what you can to the best of your ability. ahhhhhhh!!!

take 2, 1month 19days left: my life is better than my dreams. that is why i procrastinate at going to sleep

Oct23 - Album rehearsals 6pm-12:30am
Oct24 - Album rehearsals 6pm-12:20am
Oct25 - Album rehearsals + run-through 1:30pm-12:20am
Oct26 - Mens conference 10am-9pm
Oct27 - Mens conference 7am-3pm, Album recording 3pm-9pm
Oct28 - Sunday church 10:30am-12:30pm, Album recording 12:30pm-11pm
~60hrs total.
6 straight days of living in the CC auditorium/TV control room/Green room.
for all album related things, i did graphics (aka lyrics) for set 2, and young & free.
for Mens conference, i did main camera for 2 session, and content logging for the last session.

its been a crazy week. but i loved every minute of it!
from the absolutely hilarious moments in rehearsals that the public will never see... (lets just say some dance moves are forever engraved in my head. haha) to remote helicopters flying around during rehearsals, a "suicidal" panda (hahahaha), to thoroughly enjoying Mens Conference (it was hilarious! it has been concluded that men just want to have a good time, and the women want to feel all warm and fuzzy on the inside during Colour Conf), to JTH changing the lyrics 30mins before leading his new song...
oh i just realized. i've done GFX for pretty much every "big name" there is at Hillsong now. Even Darlene and Brooke! JTH, RTM, Ben Fielding, Jad, JD, Crocker, Annie Garratt, Laura Toggs, Dave Ware... :)
yeah... this just became a bragging post. but i can't help it. gotta let it out somewhere. lol.. i wont brag about it on twitter/fb or places with high public traffic. but this doesnt even sum up all that ive been entrusted to do these 2 years. its been an incredible time here. i'll have to do another post to list all those things out. ;)
okay.. i should get to bed for reals. its nearly 1:30am and i have class at 8:30am. guhhhhh.


PS. i also had class on from the 23rd-25th... i only went the morning of 23rd. hahaha

take 2, 1 month and 28 days left: Literally livin' the dream!

These past 12 days were spent in Tasmania, camping around the island.
One particular night, while around the camp fire, one of my camp mates asked the question,
"If an asteroid were to hit the earth in 5 days' time, what would you do?"
one person answered with "time with friends and family", another answered with "spend these 5 days camping under the stars!", another answered with "empty the bank account and go do things/buy things i always wanted to!"
My immediate thought was to return to Sydney, and keep doing what i've been doing for these past 2 years. i absolutely love it. no where else i'd rather be but serving at Hillsong, and seeing how incredible it is. I never can get used to it. Even though church can be such a routinely weekly thing, it never is. because different people are impacted every week. or the same ppl are impacted different every week. i am continually changed every week! sometimes more than others. but its true. try spending 5 minutes in the Word of God, and you'd be a liar if you weren't changed.
i really do appreciate the direction my life has gone. given up on the worldly desires and the "american dream" of finding a job that pays good money, so you can buy things in life. nah... to truly discover for myself that there is so much joy and satisfaction in serving in the house of God, building ministries, and furthering His kingdom, no matter how direct or indirect. Whether it be putting up scriptures during Sunday service, or helping coil a cable during a video shoot on the weekday... it all contributes towards the vision and the direction of the church. knowing the church is in good hands, under amazing leadership, because the leaders all take their personal relationship with God seriously, there's comfort in that.
really appreciate all im learning here. excited to be taking this back to TO with me, the beginning and continuation of more ministries! homebound in 1 month and 28 days, its going to be good times! :)

PS. Tassie was okay... not worth the visit IMHO. if you're down in this corner of the earth, i'd pick NZ over tassie any day!

take 2, 2 months and 10 days remaining

what an incredible week its been! lets recap, #humblebrag time!

Thurs Sept 27 - Encounter begins! got to do main screen GFX for the Young & Free album DVD record!
Fri Sept 28 - Encounter day 2! kicked off the morning session with main camera, and once again GFX for the Young & Free album DVD record at night! (aka Friday Night church!)
Sat Sept 29 - Repeat yesterday, and add CCU to the afternoon session!
Sun Sept 30 - 8am service IMAG operator/producer, and got to do scriptures for Chad Veach!
Mon Oct 1 - a gorgeous breathtaking coastal shore 10km walk from Clovelly to Bondi with awesome friends, followed by an ikea dinner, and ended off the day spending 3hrs in an outdoor spa under the stars. love my friends, good times!
Tues Oct 2 - Mens conference Panda shoot! love being the Panda ;)
Wed Oct 3 - Attended college chapel, led by Brian and Jenn Johnson from Bethel church. WOW. followed by a hilarious adventure to ikea for dinner with fellow awesome TV peeps!
Thurs Oct 4 - IMAG at Sisterhood in the morning, camera 2 @ ELEVATE. once again, Brian and Jenn Johnson (and Hillsong team) led us in worship, 50min ministry time. wowowowowowow.... plus we had a good time on comms ;)
Fri Oct 5 - the morning began with hearing from a christian woman from north korea. WOW. what a testimony! followed by part 1 of the #WeHaveASaviourVideoShoot in the afternoon! The one and only Dan Yao treated (and delivered) me a bbt! then the TV department treated MadMex for dinner.
Sat Oct 6 - day 2 of the #WeHaveASaviourVideoShoot out in Camden in a mansion! full day shoot, only to return to Hills at 8pm and hit up Outback Steakhouse for dinner at 8:30pm.
Sun Oct 7 - daylight savings (lose an hr), kicked it off with a 6:20AM call time because of cam3 (main) at ANIMATED BIBLE STORY!!

absolutely incredible. day off tomorrow, but it will be spent working on New Testament assessment, STM video, and shopping/prepping/packing for...

Oct 9 - 22 = MELBOURNE AND TASMANIA CAMPING TRIP. ZOMG.
oh and
Oct 10 - 24th birthday. if ending off 23 is this amazing, bring on 24!!! #TheBestIsYetToCome!
Oct 26 - 27 - Mens Conference (Rostered on standby for this. Will most likely be running around helping prep album recording stuff!)
Oct 27 - 28 - AT NIGHT, LIVE ALBUM RECORDING. rostered on for MAIN SCREEN GRAPHICS once again!
such humble beginnings. 4 years ago, i was hooking up my macbook pro in B&GS to do GFX (lyrics) for Western ACF friday nights. to now doing main screen GFX for a Hillsong Live album recording. who woulda thought?

take 2, 3 months and 10 days remaining!

yup. let the reversal day count begin. aka "countdown".
it really sucks having a "departure date" in mind. i was happier not knowing when i was going home. but because im a numbers person, i can only think of whats left. =(
it saddens me. every time im at church, i dont wanna leave this behind!! but at the same time, there's so much amazingness waiting for me back home. =)
so i figured. im happy at either place. its a win win situation. well.. except that i cant have both. haha...
well, maybe when hillsong conference is brought to north america next year, and when United does a tour stop in toronto ;)
so its all good. nothing else i can do but really enjoy and take hold of what i have left in these +3 months! keep learning what i can, enjoy what i can, and taking in all i can. oh and building all the connections that i can. haha.. very key in ministry. we're all christians, and we're here to serve and glorify the same God. =)
anyways. lets not be depressing. still got 100 days left! w00t!!!

take2, day ###: 3 is less than 5, but 3 times 2 is more!

being a bible college student, i'm going to refer to a parable in the NT. because i can.
then tell you what i learnt from it.

so last year in intro to NT class, we learnt that the parables Jesus told were not always what they seemed to be. it is not just a simple story, but there is a twist at the end. and if you view the parable from a different angle, you will learn something totally new. that is what happened to me.
im going to refer to the parable of the talents. Matt 25:14-30. (go read it if you've never read it before)

having been to sunday school since i was a kid, i had heard and knew this story so well. i was always taught that the moral of this story is to be like the 5 talents guy and do something with the talents and gifts that God has given you. and it is better to have done something with it and failed (from a human definitely of fail) than to not have done anything with it at all. (this was definitely used a lot in getting ppl to serve/volunteer at church!) while there is nothing wrong with this lesson, i recently learnt a completely new lesson from this parable.

ever since i set foot at hillsong church/college 1.5 yrs ago, my only aim was to keep climbing higher, take every opportunity i had to serve (especially within TV department), but because i want to serve the ppl, as well as build connections, to get more involved. i was using all my energy to do all i can to contribute to this amazing church. i was being like the 5 talents guy, staying as far away as i can from being the 1 talent guy. but what i didnt realize that i actually needed to learn from the 3 talents guy.
every time i saw a fellow classmate or another student who had less experience than me, got assigned a role with more responsibility than what i was given, i got a little jealous. wondering why it wasnt me in that position.
i wonder... did the 3 talents guy ever wonder "why did he get 5 and i only got 3? does my master not value me as much? does he not trust me, or see me as worthy?" spot on. that was me.
but as the parable goes, the master (represents God here) does not judge the servants based on the number of talents they have, but rather if they did something with their talents. both the 5 talents and 3 talents guy did something with it, because they knew the heart of their master. they both recieved the same comments, "well done, my good and faithful servant. you have been faithful with few things, i will make you ruler over many things. enter into the joy of your lord." v21 and 23. God did not favour one over the other. the only difference was the 1 talent guy who did nothing, got the comment "you wicked and lazy servant"! and i definitely dont want to be called that.

realizing this, i had to learn the value of the roles and tasks i was assigned. learnt that my value and worth come from the judgement of God and not of others here on earth, or my own self-worth.
besides, altho i may have received "3 talents" to work with, i can put it to good use and turn it into 6. then 12. then 24. etc! and that is definitely more than 5 talents! =)

i finally got out of that bitter phase, only to find much more joy and pleasure in all that i do at church! it was all in God's plan this whole time for me to learn this lesson. because as soon as i did, i was given a truck load more responsibilities! the 3 turned into at least a 9!! and it has been incredible!
love what i do, love my church, love His people!

it will be a bittersweet moment when i fly off on Dec18th. easily the best 2 years of my life, but i know that the best is yet to come!
but while im still here for another 3.5 months, im going to continue learning and doing all that i can!
"preparation time is never wasted time." and i cant wait to see whats in store for me back in toronto =)

take2, day123! an update for the sake of an update

so... yeah. heaps has happened since my last post.

and i don't know what i want to write here anymore. lol... 

I'm pretty much half way thru 2nd year now, just hillsong conference in a month's time. then I'm hk bound for a couple of weeks! yay!!!

and yup. I'm looking forward to hk!

this May break week has just given me a chance to do pretty much nothing church/school related, and just go around exploring sydney town! albeit, other than the zoo, and hopping on new bus routes, I've already been to all the other places. and meh, its okay. 

think I'm good with sydney now. I'm ready to go home, or explore a new city or something. 

but i can't. still got another semester to go. altho, it should go by pretty quickly.

i mean... think about it. i get back from hk, and its straight into Sunday Night Live, Big Exo Day, Encounter, Kids DVD recording, October Break, Mens Conference, Album recording, parents come to sydney, graduation, and BAM! I'm done! throw in the weekly things to do (college, team nights, weekend services, wildlife, etc.) and it'll all go by quickly. yay? 

I'm just going to enjoy it while I'm here. i think i'll miss it and appreciate it more once I've settled in back home. 

take2, days 61 - 66: i am so blessed and privileged!

day 61: GFX for matty crocker @ college chapel

day 62: camera assist for casting crowns and mercyme!

day 63: help with building a set for a HillsongTV shoot, GFX for matty crocker and brooke fraser @ team night!

day 64: producer of good friday 8am chapel service @ hills, working directing with JD.

day 65: seeing the sunrise at Watson's bay with the perfect weather, and awesome old and new friends!

day 66: producer of easter sunday 8am chapel service @ hills, working directly with matty crocker, and TV Crew assist for easter sunday pm service at the S.E.C.

thats just the outlines of what happened this past week. doesn't include the finer details. but its enough to make me rethink, if you asked me over christmas break what i had in mind for my 2nd year, i definitely wouldn't have said any of the above!

and I'm not mentioning the names cus I'm starstruck or anything, but rather it being such an honour to be working directly with them! i still feel so incompetent for the responsibilities given to me. and previously, these names were ppl i see on hillsong DVDs, leading thousands and thousands into worship. but in reality, they're just normal people, with blessed opportunities. so its been incredible working with them, and contributing to the (global) impact hillsong church has in sharing the love of Christ!

this whole week, there were many moments where i was super tired. but each morning, i woke up knowing it would be worth it! that i enjoy what I'm doing, and I'm living the dream! but it didn't hit me until earlier this afternoon.

i was sent on a food/drinks run for 2 of the TV staff. i had 20mins before the service started so i just bolted out the Entertainment Centre, only to find a massive jam at the door, because people were trying to get in (so i had difficulty getting out). yet it wasnt just a jam at the door, but there was a massive line up, probably close to 1000 ppl. they literally started at the door, went to the edge near the tram tracks, and wrapped around the corner of the building. i had no idea how far the line went, but DANGS. yet on the way back in, all i had to do was walk right past everyone to the front of the line, flash my "level 2" pass, and in i went. and i didn't stop there. but i casually just made my way back to FoH or backstage. NBD. yet it actually IS a big deal!

thousands of ppl came on a easter sunday, wanting to hear reinhard bonnke preach, and more importantly, to hear the gospel, yet my thoughts were "meh. so what if i miss the msg."

so tonight, i made extra effort to ensure that i was in the auditorium and paying attention for as much as i can.

i am seriously so blessed. not only to be given the chances and responsibilities that i currently have, but to have the chance to learn from many amazing pastors/preachers, worship led by probably some of the top worship leaders in the world, and being a part of the HillsongTV crew.

all of this IS a big deal! and i hope i never get used to this. every moment here is amazing, and not an opportunity very many people in the world (and in history) will get.

i will cherish it, learn from it, and all in all, just enjoy it. =)

take 2 day 56: the future

I've been thinking.

after this year at college, what am i going to do?

yes, i do miss things from home and would like to go home. but do i miss it enough to be staying there forever? for the next couple foreseeable years anyways?

its tough to decide when I'm not home. so i have to convince myself i don't miss it. or else i'll be homesick for the next 9 months. (and i definitely don't want that. it'll make life here much more unnecessarily difficult!)

so do i see myself here in australia (Sydney) for the next couple foreseeable years then? i could. its really 50/50 right now (yeah i said it!)

I've been comparing it through what i can do. does toronto need the leadership in ministries and such? yes. am i leading and contributing here at hillsong too? yes. will i make an impact in toronto? yup, probably heading up and leading some ministries, more prepared than ever. am i making an impact here at hillsong? yup, a small lil contribution for a big global project.

so its either staying in sydney and contributing to the big growing church. or go back to toronto, and potentially join in on the movement of making toronto a big growing church.

I'm really indifferent right now as to what happens in the near future. just waiting to see what happens i guess, if opportunities come up from where ever. and confirmation too.

take 2, day 55: Cornerstone training video day anybody?

its been another crazy few weeks with Colour Conference 2012 preps, and the 2 conferences itself. lots of hard work going into props prep, getting admin stuff done, txting ppl information, answering questions... all in all. good use of my organizational skills! learnt a lot leadership wise, working with ppl, and really discovering my own leadership style.

then today came along. day 55 of my 2nd year in australia. shooting at the city campus for Hillsong LIVE's new album, Cornerstone, the instrumental training videos!!! no idea what I'm talking about? click for the God Is Able ones!

Except i spent my day shooting the "Rhythm Guitar" players. awesome sauce! and will spend the next 2 weeks (most likely) editing the "Drums" videos =) livin' the dream. definitely livin' the dream!!!

absolutely loved today! so good to get away from Hills for a bit too. and to sum it up: yeah. i did spend the day with fellow TV students AND hillsong musicians. digital gear/technology nerds unite? C'MON SOMEBODY!! "rollin'!" ahahahaha

so yup. adding another "credits on a Hillsong DVD" to the count! how many can i rake up in 2 years? =P kidding. I'm just grateful to be present at these shoots, let alone actually take part in shooting/editing/contributing!! if anyone has known me since the start of my "media fascination" days, you'll know my favourite part of shoots are the "behind the scenes" stuff that ppl don't really see. they're the funniest and most enjoyable parts! good times. good times indeed! really makes you appreciate every little detail, instead of just what is presented to the public as the final product.

anyways. another crazy month of april coming up. here's my roster! insane? yup. but its what I'm here to do: serve and learn!

take 2, day 33: i was focused on the lil picture

so back at the start of january, i spent a week down in Atlanta, Georgia, as a Door Holder (Psalm 84:10 aka volunteer) at Passion 2012.

I pretty much spent my whole time in the secondary venue (GWCC) helping with clean up and set up pre/post events. So i didn't see a single session at the conference itself. it was interesting... seeing a different perspective of the conference.

tonight, the video for "27 million" was released. i was absolutely FLOORED. the whole time, i was sorta grumbly, had an "why am i here... don't really wanna do this. and I've got a cold" attitude. i was so focused on my tiny little role, and the task i was given to do. so while i was on the same block, in the next building, behind the scenes, there was something absolutely amazing going on next door!

check out this video:

absolutely incredible!

if only i knew what the big picture was back then, i would be totally different. altho my actions didn't show it, my attitude definitely wasnt the best.

just reminds me of how it is in life all the time. i never understand why I'm doing this one thing. until further on down the road, i realized that one skill i learned is now being put to good use. altho at the time, i thought it was the biggest waste of time and would never be doing this again in my life! i was so wrong. in the big picture, my small little task is worth it and contributes to it.

can't wait for Passion2013! i should be serving with TV, so =) (which means i will be soaking up all i can this year now with Hillsong TV!)

take2 day 10: just enough.

thats my own personal theme for this year.

to live on just enough, especially when it comes to food.

I'm seriously so ridiculously rich and blessed, and don't even realize it. and spoiled too. basic stuff like when the house isn't a "comfortable" temperature, i get a lil cranky.

or when my favourite shirts need to be washed, i feel like i don't have enough clothes. (the chore of doing laundry... blah!)

or my stomach only knows 2 settings: empty, and overstuffed.

i need to learn to eat just what is good enough. i actually hate the feeling after i eat too much. yet every time, i can't stop myself! or i don't consciously make the effort to stop myself. but now i will.

its time i learnt to appreciate what i have, and know that what i already have is considered super blessed. there are so many excess things that i don't need. they become wants. this year, I'm going to learn to trim those things that are wants. it'll help me save financially too. reconsider things before i buy them.

it'll help me have a lighter load when moving back home to Canada at the end of this year =P

its also learning to let go, that i don't "over need" things. i can live without it, as important as it may seem the moment i thought it was a good idea to buy it.

hold me accountable please.

thanks.!

day 7 of... TAKE TWO!

i don't know how to number the days anymore. since its my 2nd year, and i went home for 2 months... so lets just say "TAKE TWO!"

its been nearly a week since i've landed back in Sydney town. and i must say... it's been raining and/or gloomy for the most of it. i actually quite enjoy it since its not super humid not. (i really don't like it when you start sweating again the moment you turn off the shower :( )

so this is actually comfortable for me!

sleeping somewhat okay at night. (fear of spiders, getting used to new place, mattress is super soft compared to what I'm used to)

but i guess those are all minor things. altho, nothing minor about that massive spider!!! frig. as my friend corrected me in saying "thats not a spider. thats a tarantula!! O_O"

here' s a pic www.twitpic.com/8ea9st (you can click the link. i don't really fancy having a giant hairy spider picture on my blog. blehhhhh!!)

so this year, i moved heaps closer to school. i now live in the all asian house + Ben the German. bahhaha and theres like 9 students in this house PLUS the landlords. so 11 in total. true asian house + Ben.! and yes, it is co-ed. *gasp!*

s'all good. bible college students, we're in our own rooms, it actually comes in handy as one of the guys likes to cook. plus the guys can kill spideys and other creepy crawlies for me =)

it helps to live 10min walking distance from school too. no excuse now to not go to church/school events because i "live too far and don't wanna walk home alone in the dark". so excited for whats to come this year!

tbh, i haven't given much thought nor expectation to this year. most of what IS on my mind is conference. Colour Conference and Hillsong Conference 2012!!! can't wait! being able to contribute at such a large scale event, no matter how big/small of a role i play, its amazing! plus food is provided, good bonding time with fellow TV staff/students... living the dream!

anyways, I'm still working on a video for HBCYR back home. i should get this done asap. i guess its what my video editing trainer said last year, "you're never done with your video. you just hit a deadline". which is true... cus i'll never be 100% happy with it. there'll always be something i want to tweak and touchup, or i notice more things as i keep rewatching it.

so I'm out. no idea when the next update will be. guess it'll depend on how (un)eventful life here gets. (aka time to blog, and things to blog about)

PS. oh yes. of course. the 1st week of school is over. haha

PPS. oh right. how did i forget. got food poisoning my 2nd day here, spent 3rd and 4th day in bed. and now days 5 and 6 and 7 in school. hah