"wah! gum dai jek!"

haha.. oh the title. refers to a quote by Francis Chan at Passion 07. the story went something like this... (paraphrased by me. not word for word.)

so i decided i was going to visit hk, to see the place where i spent the first few years of my life. so when i my grandma knew i was visiting, she was like the most excited grandma in all of hk! she went and told ALL her friends that her grandson is coming to visit her from america! well, i didnt really care. sure. i mean, she's paying for my ticket! and when i saw them, all her friends said the EXACT same thing when they saw me. they said "wah! gum dai jek geh!". *silence cus the passion crowd are majority white ppl. perhaps you can hear me and like 4 others canto ppl laughing our heads off. haha... anyways.. continuing on with his story*.... I KNOW! can you believe it?.. ... alright. i'll tell you what it means. it means "wah... you so big!" but i didnt have the heart to tell them "it's not that 'i so big'. it's 'you so small'."

thats EXACTLY how i felt this weekend. what was this weekend? SCAC Col/uni fellowship's winter retreat. theme? renewal of fellowship. i couldnt have asked for a more appropriate theme right now. and thruout the weekend, ive heard comments like "you're the only one. where's the rest of your grade?" or "Western ppl have a lot of potential!". but everytime i heard it, i kept thinking "it's not that I so 'big' spiritually, its you so small!". its not that im so 'pumped' to see change at scac, its that, everyone else should be too and we should be even more pumped and DO SOMETHING.
one bad tendancy of mine thruout the weekend was that i kept comparing it to acf's winter retreat. i mean.. it WAS only a month ago. so still quite fresh in my mind. but i gotta remember that differences might not neccesarily be a bad thing. like.. acf retreats are always really structured, organized, follows the schedule quite strictly (xept the night times. haha), everything's prepped before hand (room arrangements, small groups, etc), a speaker, etc. but coluni was really go-with-the-flow. example? acf has 'waiting on God' during the 2nd night. coluni had 'fireside sharing' planned, but it never happened. but what happened instead, has got to be the highlight of retreat! just as 'waiting on God' was the highlight of acf retreat for me. at coluni, we just started out playing cranium or studying or randomly somewhere (observing Ron's supremely-callussed toes). then a bunch of us (mainly the callus observers) decided to go out for a night walk. yes! i finally got my night walk with ppl that i've wanted for for so long! and ive gotta say it was more beautiful than the western campus. ok, so it was REALLY REALLY COLD but it was still beautiful. did some star gazing. thanks to derek and his astronomy knowledge, we saw Orion's belt! (haha.. MIB!). and Orion. and the big dipper! what beauty. God of wonders right there. then it got really cold. so we went back, only to change, then have a DS party. =P thats right! a bunch of us in the er... 'smelly' room, mix of both males and females, 6 DSes, all playing mario kart. w00t.! even tho i sucked most of the time. everytime i was in the lead, would get hit by something (darn you green and red and blue shells!) and went back down to 5th or so. ughh... or i just sucked thru the whole course and just get 6 or 7. haha... but it was fun. Ron's trashtalking was entertaining enough, since he was nowhere near #1. HAHA... after the DS party (or after my thumbs got sore), i went downstairs to join the acoustic jam/worship session! dangggg... that was amazing! 3 guitars going!! but my fingers hurt now. i think i guitared like 6hrs in total the whole retreat. haha.. but yeah. it was pretty awesome time of bonding and meeting these ppl. yes, meeting. i dont think i knew 1/2 the ppl there. and the ppl that i DID know from before are ppl i dont know anything about. just their name perhaps. so it was kinda like first stepping into acf, only knowing some ppl by name, and never seen the rest of the faces before. i admit, it was quite awkward at first *awkward turtle! i taught like 4 ppl about awkward turtle this weekend. and i was introduced to the awkward cow in return. HAHA.. anyways...* but as i got to know ppl, i felt the community. i did... even tho the over largely populated 2nd years bunch was ginormous, there was stil a sense of community and fellowship among ppl. so being the only frosh there, whatever! age doesnt matter. we're still bros and sis' in Christ! *well, im guilty for crackin' a fair amount of 'old' jokes. =P*

so why exactly did i suddenly go to retreat? coluni's retreat? simple. i've seen so many tiny glimpses of heaven recently (at Passion07, at acf winter retreat, acf itself, acf activities like small group or women's cell, random chilling wiht acf ppl, etc), but each time, i think back "why isn't scac like this?". i felt guilty and selfish those times that i'm repeatedly seeing glimpses of heaven and just how great our God is, but scac is just somewhere in the middle. not exactly cold, but nowhere near on fire. lukewarm. (Revelations 3:14-16). and once again, Francis' message just comes back. can it be? that the WHOLE CHURCH just doesnt get it? that all of scac really can't see that the passion is missing? but then, is it really missing? yes, but the desire for it isnt. God provided me with an awesome long time no see friend just before retreat. a short time of sharing and prayer together. and we both see it. the passion is there. its in many ppl at scac. but why is everyone holding back? afraid to make the first move. and scared of making that first move, committment follows and 100% committment is a big thing. but im starting to see small changes here and there around scac. starting with the 'social' stuff like softball this summer (im excited for whats in store!), and worship in music/song. but best of all, God's provided me with a friend who shares the same vision and passion. funny how things are. we havent seen each other properly since august (the 'hellos' at 2 sunday services don't count). but wow...! the exact same things have been flowing thru our minds!

oh! and one more thing. retreat's 'theme song' was Unify Us.

Unify us. Purify us.
so that we will change the world.

i KNEW i heard the song before. but where? here! watch the vid. haha...

w00t.
gunna promote this in coluni soon... soon as in when the registration forms are out!

whelps. 8hrs of sleep in total this past weekend (4hrs per night). so its now nearly 11pm, im fed, showered, teeth brushed... think its time to sleep. got relaxed with some small things planned during reading week! =)

1:12pm edit: and i gotta mention some more memorable things at retreat. stuff like.. Oz eating that CHUNK OF BUTTER. oh ewww...! but entertaining! and eating chilli for dinner on the 2nd night. luckily, all those planned fart attacks never happened (or at least i wasnt around the war zone to witness them!). and who can forget... everyone's eyes was scarred when Ron was 'forced' to run around nearly naked (had boxers on thank goodness), chasing Kristen for his clothes back. hahaha!